Lost
by sharingstories2
Summary: Clary traded herself for Jace but when max is kidnapped two years later he assumes he's hallucinating but is he? *contains emotional physical and mental abuse and rape/incest* possible character death
1. Trade

As Valentine stood over Jace, she panicked. She grabbed Valentine's arm, he turned to look at her, and incredulous look spreading across his face.  
"Take me instead" she said quietly. Valentine looked at her in interest.  
"Why?" It was a simple question that she was afraid to answer. Valentine placed Jace on the couch softly.  
"You would trade your freedom... for a boy you met a few months ago ago?" He quipped. Clary stood her ground.  
"No I would trade it because he Is worth so much more around here than Me and yes I love him but I know who we should be to each other. I know the story father." Valentine had a brief lapse of shock.  
"You are more perceptive than I thought daughter"  
"So will you, trade my freedom for Jace's, a daughter for a son?" Valentine nodded.  
"I have only one thing to ask, May I leave a letter to say sorry" Valentine nodded and she wrote the letter before grabbing Valentine's hand and jumping through the portal.  
When jace came too he was afraid to look up until isabell slapped him.  
"You..." She began but Jace blacked her put and looked for Clary  
"where is she?"  
Everyone looked down, not sure how to answer.  
"Where is Clary" he bellowed. Alec stood forward.  
"Valentine took her" he whispered and flinched as Jace banged his fist on the floor.  
"What, how?" Nobody answered but gave Jace the letter. He read it and felt his heart shatter but he didn't let it show and got up.  
"Well, let's get going"

Meanwhile Clary sat in a startling white dress, looking up at her father.  
"Well?" he asked, she chewed on her lip.  
"I didn't mean to father but…. I had to." He snarled and slapped her across the face, she looked up startled but showed no fear.  
"You will stay inside" and then he left the room, locking the door as he went.

-2yearslater-2yearslater-

Max wasn't even meant to be there, he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time but neither the less he was a lightwood, therefore important to Jace which made Sebastian take him. He couldn't kidnap the older children they were two hardened but Max, the sweet innocent little ten year old boy had only a month of training and even that was weak. So Sebastian had taken the boy who had kicked and screamed but it wasn't enough the boy was far too weak.

When Max came too he saw Clary, staring at him in concern. It took a moment for him to realise that Clary was actually there. He got up and scurried to the other end of the room, scared out of his mind.  
"You… you're dead!" he yelled as Clary looked down.  
"I wish I was, Max oh what has happened to you?" She grabbed a wet rag and began to pat his head with the rag. When Max had begun to drift off Clary sung him to sleep. She kissed his head.  
"I'll get you out of here max I promise"


	2. Awoken

When Max woke up he scanned his surroundings, trying to remember what happened. He had been kidnapped, taken from the family he loved so much and last night _last night_ he thought he saw Clary. The girl who talked to him about Manga and had changed Jace in to a decent person, of course when she traded herself he became could and distant to all except Max. He supposed it was because Max didn't really know anything so he couldn't pry. Max was interrupted from his musings when he heard a scream. A high piercing scream that shook the very foundations of his cell. He got up as the door opened, ready to fight his way out but stopped when a girl fell in. He jumped back, scared of what was happening.

The girl looked up, her eyes brimmed with tears, Max staggered back again. He thought that he had imagined Clary the other night but she was here, _alive._ He drank in her appearance, she was thinner and fitter, like she had been tortured and trained at the same time. She had scars all down her arms with little red spots which looked like places where needles where injected. She groaned and coming to his senses he helped her up.  
"Thank you" she muttered, rigidly. Max grabbed a bottle of water which had been left by Sebastian and made her drink it. She gulped it down greedily and lay down on the floor, singing herself to sleep. Max looked down at the girl who in such a short space of time had a major effect on his family and frowned. Everyone thought she was dead and the searches had stopped. Oh clary he thought, if only we had continued looking.

When Clary came too she smiled at Max, who had dozed off in a corner but her smile turned upside down when Valentine walked in, he looked at his daughter and smiled.  
"Clarissa" he nodded and she held her tongue. Valentine went to move Max's hair out of his eyes but Clary stopped him.  
"Don't touch him" she snarled. Valentine smiled grimly.  
"Whatever you wish daughter" he choked out the word daughter like it was poison on the tip of his tongue. Clary looked at the little boy and felt her heart constrict.  
"What is he doing here…. Father?" The word Father still seemed so foreign to her even after two years. Valentine clasped his hand behind his back and looked between the two children.  
"He wasn't what I had in mind when I said to get leverage for Jace" Valentine paused for moment, as if he was contemplating how much to reveal to his young charge.  
"I expected his sibling but as usual your brother act before he thinks-"clary snorted.  
"Oh I know" Valentines eyes flashed black.  
"Be careful what you say Clarissa otherwise your brother may have a little more _fun_ than he expected tonight." Clary's body stiffened but Valentine continued.  
"And I may have another _experiment"_ and then he turned around and marched out of the room like he owned the place. Clary looked at the youngest in the room and clenched her fists, a determination evident in her face. She would save Max Lightwood even if it killed her.


	3. Random filler thing

Jace was tearing his hair out, his little brother had been kidnapped two weeks ago and nobody knew where he had gone. The only lead they had was a lock of Sebastian's clothing fibre, even that was a long shot. Even though it was Sebastian's fibre he knew why he had kidnapped max and on whose orders. _Valentine._ The man who had thought to have been his father. It wasn't enough that Valentine had accepted Clary's offer to swap positions with him, therefore removing any light he had but now he had kidnapped the one person who he actually felt human with. Max was only eight when Clary disappeared and had only seen her a handful of times but even so Max adored her. Now he had lost them both.

Alec was worried, he was feeling sad over Max's disappearance and acted like any sibling would as did Isabelle, Jace on the other hand. He was going crazy looking for Max. It was personal for the Lightwoods sure but for Jace it was his _last chance at a happy ending._ Alec knew Jace thought if he could track down Max then maybe he could find Clary. Jace, Luke and the recently awakened Jocelyn were the only ones that held any hope that Clary was still alive. The clave sent out one or on a good day two people to look for her but it was a half assed job at best. Everyone's morale was low.

Isabelle was giving Simon updates on the Clary investigation whilst he comforted her about Max. Simon had liked the little fella and hoped against all hope he was with Clary, they just had to be together.

Meanwhile Clary was balancing on a beam, trying not to fall as Sebastian whipped her. She winced but never fell, this was a regular occurrence these days, minus the torture Valentine and Sebastian still tried to train her so that if anyone where to invade she wouldn't be totally powerless. It also gave them an excuse to attempt to hurt which as Valentine liked to remind her, was really her mother's fault. Valentine hated her because she looked like her mother and since he couldn't bear to hurt his dear Jocelyn so he hurt Clary instead.

She had been doing so well until she heard him scream. Suddenly she lost her balance and fell to the floor, cracking her head as she went.  
"What is he doing to Max?" Sebastian pulled her up by her hair and placed her on her feet.  
" _Father"_ he emphasized. "Is interrogating the enemy" he said. Clary felt her blood bubble. Valentine she was terrified off but Sebastian had a way of riling her up.

"The enemy is ten year old boy you sick, twisted phyco!" she screamed.

Suddenly she felt a stinking substation spread across a cheek. He had hit her, suddenly he shoved her over.

" You should treat our father and myself with respect." he said, punctuating each word with a kick. Clary keeled over and wheezed.

"Let the boy go brother…. Please" he said nothing, instead taking her back to her cell. It was half an hour later when Max stumbled in. Bloody and bruised. She pulled him into her as he sobbed into her chest.

"I don't know" he muttered, over and over. She remembered the conversation she had with him that morning, Restrict his answers to, yes, no and I don't know. If she knew it would cause him pain she would've told him to screw the clave and give up all the secrets but unlike her Max was young and wouldn't betray his family like that. She rocked him back and forth, kissing his head.  
"It's okay max, I swear it will be"


	4. Max's questions

Two months had passed since Max had been kidnapped and Clary still couldn't think of a way to save the poor boy. It wasn't for lack of trying, she had told Sebastian to have his way if he let Max go and had even attempted to bribe circle members, mainly the ones that Valentine had sent to make sure that she was still alive. Max and herself were still tortured on a daily bases but Clary took the brunt of Valentines hurt. She would make him mad enough to torture her into near insanity so that when it came to max he was too exhausted to do much damage. Yet Max was still a ten year old boy and had a very low pain tolerance, still it had gotten better since he had encountered Valentine.

Clary was sat in her cell, trying to remember what day it was and was suddenly struck by a pain in her heart. Two weeks in the future would be Max's birthday, she didn't know how she knew that, she just assumed Jace had mentioned in passing but one thing was clear. She would not let Max be in hell on his birthday. It was then that she had devised a plan.

Max was sat in the same steel chair, in the same white room. Days blurred into one for him but he did remember that at five o'clock every night Sebastian or Valentine took him away from his cold damp cell to find out what he knew, which coincidently was nothing. So he sat on the cold chair and waited.

Today it was Sebastian which inflicted torture. He stacked in, dressed in black. Max tried to remain calm and show no fear just like Clary had instructed him to do but his bottom lip had started to quiver.  
"Max, Max, Max" he tutted, like Max had done something terribly wrong.  
"Must we play this game?" he asked. Max remained stoic,  
"Max just tell me any clave secrets that you know and you may leave, freely and unharmed" Sebastian said. Max clenched his fist.  
"You lie Sebastian" he shouted, Sebastian's eyes turned dark and he clenched his whip, swiping it across Max's cheek.  
"You should treat us with respect Lightwood, I could quite easily take you away from my dear naive sister if I so dearly whished" that made Max's heart flutter. He may be in hell but he had Clary. Even if he knew nothing of what her last two years were like she kept him sane and tried to keep part of his innocence alive. She was his heaven in hell so to speak.  
"Please…" he tried to plead but Sebastian grew tired of him.  
"You may be a boy Max lightwood but even little boys know secrets" and then he commanded his minions to take Max back to his cell.

Clary was sat in the dark and dingy cell, waiting for Max to return. When he did he was thrown face first, she picked him up and gave him some water.  
"He whipped your face?" she asked sympathetically. Max gulped and nodded, Clary wiped away the blood with her sleeve.  
"Hey clary?" Max asked, she hummed in acknowledgment.  
"Why did you offer yourself up instead of letting him take Jace?" Clary stopped suddenly, looking at him in interest.  
"Why do you want to know?" Max shrugged, Clary sighed and sat down cross legged on the floor.  
"I loved Jace when I first met him, he entranced me and at first I thought that maybe it was the mystery of Jace Wayland but I fell for him" she took a deep breath and began to play with the hem of her very warn t-shirt.  
"I found out he was my brother but I still loved him, incestuous I know but I couldn't help it" she got up and spun around  
"I came here and found out he wasn't, that Sebastian was in fact my brother but that's beside the point" she looked him in the eyes.  
"You asked why I did it. I did it because I had fallen head over heels for him Max and I didn't understand how much until I realised that a life with him safe was a lot better than a life without him, Even if I wasn't with him" Max studied her, noticing of her muscles had developed but he noticed other things too. Her face was worn and her hair was damp and matted. He legs shook and her entire frame resembled that of skittish deer.  
"Why do you care for me so much?" his question seemed kind of random to Clary but neither the less she answered.  
"At first it was because you were Jace's brother and no young boy should be held captive but in these past two months I have grown to love you as a brother, I'm just sorry it had to be on the wort possible circumstances." A silence passed between them and Clary wiped away blood from Max's cheek.

That night when Max kissed Clary's cheek before going to sleep he whispered something that made her smile.  
"I love you sister"


	5. Valentines demands and stealing

Jace was having an okay day, all things considered. He had taken out his pent up aggression over Max on a training dummy and had killed some demons. So all in all not the sulkiest day ever but that all changed at dinner.

It was Izzy's turn to cook, so of course they all ordered takeout from Taki's and were quietly munching it. They were having a laugh, feeling guilty for being happy when there little brother was missing but there guilt turned to anger when Valentine appeared before them. Alec and Izzy jumped for their weapons but Jace remained stationary.  
"Valentine" he said. Izzy relaxed slightly when she realised it was just a hologram but Alec stayed taught.  
"What do you want?" Jace asked. Valentine surveyed the room.  
"I wish for you to come to me son" Valentine stated.  
"He's not your son you bastard" Izzy yelled. Valentine laughed as Izzy tried to Stab the hologram.  
"I will pretend I did not hear that Isabelle lightwood." Jace shot his friends a look and stood up.  
"Why would I ever come to you?" he asked like it was dumb of Valentine for even suggesting it. Neither the less Valentine's eyebrow pointed upwards  
"Because Jace I have Max Lightwood and you have until next week to hand yourself over otherwise your brother will be executed at dawn" and then the hologram disintegrated, leaving behind three bewildered shadow hunters.

Clary balanced along a plank of wood, trying to stay still as one of Valentine's minions lectured her on her fighting position. He leant down and put his head underneath her arms to flip her. She discreetly put his hand in his pocket and grabbed his Steele and shoved it in her pocket as he flipped her. She never understood why Valentine made people teach her how to fight, if she wanted she could cause and uproar. The minion today sent her back, unaware his Steele was missing.

When she reached her cell she walked in. Waiting to turn to max, she waited until the guards had left.  
"I have a plan" she said, revealing the stele to the boy who looked at her amazed.  
"How did you get that?" he asked, a current of excitement running through his veins.  
"It doesn't matter but I'm getting you out max, soon." Max stared at her  
"You're getting us out" he said, scared of what she was insuating. Clary looked down, trying to keep the guilt from her face as she said.  
"Yeah, I'll get us both free Max"


	6. Clary's torture

**_A/N okay this chapter contains themes such as rape and torture so I strongly advise that most people shouldn't read this especially those underage I will tell you when the 18+ bit is over_**

Clary had kept most of what happened to her from Max, Max never knew that her brother did things to her that were inhumane or her father had experimented on her angel blood. She did tell max they beat her but that was all he really knew. Now though Max knew that Sebastian had defiled something that was meant to be beautiful.

 **18+ BIT STARTING**

 _She knew that it would happen sooner or later, he hadn't done anything sexual with her since Max had been kidnapped but her father had experimented on her, slicing her skin for blood and knocking her unconscious to perform an examination and since he was happy with the results he would give clary to Sebastian._

 _As such she was told to shower and look presentable for her 'brother'. So she took a steaming hot shower, eat her bread and soup and got chanced. What was given to her was something so slutty even Isabelle wouldn't wear it. It left practically nothing up to the imagination. Neither the less she put it on and sighed. She wished that Valentine had stuck to what he had said about her and Jace how he thought it was far too incestuous but with Sebastian_ _it was A okay!. That made no sense to the girl._

 _When she entered the room she was attacked by a pair of lips on the back of her neck. She shuddered and tried not to be sick. His breath tickled her neck as he threw her on the bed.  
"Jace" she muttered, Sebastian's eyes turned a coal black as he slapped her across the face.  
"You keep your desire for golden boy at bay whilst you are with me" she looked up and nodded, scared of the repercussions.  
"Besides even when you are stuck in the same cell together you will still be mine" she was about to ask what he meant but she suddenly saw black.  
_ **18+ BIT ENDED**

When she awoke she was back in her cell, two eyes stared at her through the darkness as she keeled over and wretched up any food she had in her system.

"Clary" Max called out in surprise. Clary held out her hand.  
"What happened?" Max asked, clary shook her head but Max looked at her sympathetically.  
"Did he force himself on you?" clary looked at the boy in surprise  
"How do you even know what that means?" Max gave her a look  
"I may be ten but Jace is my brother, I know what sex means" Clary shook her head frantically, like Max had insulted her in some way.  
"What Sebastian did wasn't sex max, when you give to yourself to someone that you love in every way possible it's beautiful, it's like you become one person but Sebastian defiled that" Max just stared at her and went to hug her and for the first time since they had been there Max saw clary cry.


	7. Izzy's wisdom

Clary stood in front of Max trying to teach him how to fight, it wasn't exactly ideal but it was something that Valentine didn't expect, a ten year old who can fight decently. She kicked his legs apart and made him flip her. He did and jumped back as a crack vibrated around the room. Clary got up, cradling her arm.  
"By the Angel, Clary I am so so sorry!" Max exclaimed. She grimaced and grabbed the Steele which she had hidden under a lose brick. Casting a healing rune she smiled.  
"It's okay max, but maybe we should take a break for today" he nodded and the both sat cross legged on the floor, eating whatever the maid had brought them for the day. Max munched on his breadsticks, contemplating what was going on.  
"Hey Clary, I thought the plan was set two weeks from now. Why has it been moved forward?" Clary's shoulders sank.  
"When I was with Sebastian he mentioned something about Jace being in a cell with me, I figured he must be here because he traded himself for you and I'd rather you both be safe. I don't want to wait two weeks because Jace is impulsive if Valentine said two week Jace would be here in one" Max's face paled, like a ghost.  
"No Clary, Jace can't trade himself for me, I won't let him" his hysteria attracted one of the guards.  
"Max calm down, I won't let him I promise" at the look of determination on Clary's face Max calmed down but began playing with the straw that was spreaded across their cell.  
"I trust you clary" Clary nodded.

Meanwhile Jace was pacing the hallway as the Lightwoods discussed how to attend to their current situation. Marys had downright refused, she knew that Valentine wouldn't make the trade but Jace felt like he didn't have a choice. He had lost Clary because he let her make the trade and now he would make the same trade that clary did. A sibling for a sibling.

He was so busy pacing he didn't notice Izzy staring at him, out of everyone she took Max's kidnapping the worst. The two were really close and she felt like she had let down her baby brother. Eventually she decided to confront the older brother.  
"You know you may save Max but Clary may still be dead" He turned to look at the girl who was wearing none tight clothes, a sign of her upset.  
"I don't know what you mean" he said. Izzy scoffed.  
"Yes you do, you are about to hand yourself over to the man who raised you, twisted your believe and stole the only women to equally annoy you and love you. I know you want to save max too but I think deep down you think you have nothing to lose and if we have Max back then it wouldn't hurt us as much if we lost you." Her eyes were shining with sympathy and Jace hated it.  
"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes I do, I saw how it destroyed you to lose Clary, I read the letter and I understood why you hurt as much as you did. _A world with you safe is better than a world without you even If I am not by your side._ Those were her exact words Jace and you secretly hope that Valentine will destroy you so that you don't have to live with the pain" Jace didn't say anything, he just kissed Isabelle's head and walked into the meeting.

Clary watched as Max practiced his fighting stance. She knew he plan didn't really require fighting but if anyone caught them, it was better safe than sorry. She stood up eventually  
"Why don't we do it tomorrow?" she asked. Max looked to her  
"Why?" Clary shrugged  
"We haven't been tortured in a while, might as well do it when we have at least a little strength." Max nodded.  
"So long as you think you are up to it." He said  
"Oh I will be" _I have to be._ She thought.


	8. Escape

Clary woke up the next morning, feeling refreshed and awake. She knew today she would get Max to safety, even if it killed her. So she waited for Max to wake up and fed him the breakfast that was left outside the cell door.  
"You nervous?" Clary asked, her vibrant hair splayed across the floor. Max nodded  
"If this doesn't work it will be you that's gets the brunt of the punishment" Clary wiped a strand of hair from his eyes and kissed his forehead  
"We won't get caught" she insisted and turned to the cell door.  
"We have the next two hours before the guards change their shift, we'll do it then" Max nodded and leant up against the wall.

Two hours past and Clary got up, grabbing her stele.  
"You know the plan?" Max nodded and stood next to Clary who held her hand out, drawing a rune on her arm. Suddenly the wall blew up, knocking both Clary and Max backwards. Clary got up quickly and drew another rune on her arm just as a bunch of armed men ran into the cell, her heart quickened as she stared at the portal. She grabbed Max and jumped through with him.

The portal closed as they both fell through, Max looked at her.  
"Clary we did it!" but his happiness soon turned to dread.  
"Clary" clary smiled at him weakly, clutching her stomach. Blood dribbled down her cheek, Max ran to her as she staggered forward, he peeled away her hand and paled. A sword was sticking out her stomach. He stared at her and tried to keep upright. She smiled at him grimly and he knew she thought she would die.  
"It's okay Max…. you can let go" then she fell to the ground. Max placed her head on his knees.  
"No, no, no Clary you can't die, not now" his eyes brimmed with tears, his body shook as the girl who he had finally found was slowly dying in his arms.  
"SOMEBODY HELP" he bellowed. Clary smiled at the boy and raised a bloodied hand to his cheek.  
"I love you…. Little brother" and then her eyes closed. Max shook her, banging his fist on the floor.  
"NO CLARY, NO YOU CAN'T DIE. SOMEBODY HELP ME. PLEASE… please" he brought Clary closer to him and cried. He cried for the torture they went through. He cried because her death meant he lost a sister and he cried because throughout everything she kept him grounded in captivity. He cried for Clary Fray, the strongest girl he knew.

His crying had attracted the people who were in the institute. Max never realised where Clary had teleported them in his grief but it was a damn good job she did. Alec opened the door of the institute and stared at the sight in front of him, in his confusion he never noticed how everyone had filed outside. Maryse ran to her son and tried to detach him from Clary. Eventually Izzy knelt down next to her brother.  
"We can't save her if you don't let go" he gave his sister a look that broke her heart, a look no ten year old should have. Desperation. Max let Alec take Clary to the hospital wing, yet instead of going with him he walked to Jace who looked like he had seen a ghost.  
"Jace, it's really her" was all he said before he ran after Clary.


	9. Clary's dreams

Max sat at Clary's bedside, he couldn't leave because he felt like if he did he would lose her and he couldn't lose her. She was his angel. Jace sat across from him with Jocelyn and Luke. Everyone who knew Clary had come to the institute at the news she had returned. Even Magnus Bane had stayed to make sure his customer was okay. Magnus despite everything felt close to Clary, he had watched her grow and mature, if there was any girl he would kill for it was Clary Fray.

Jocelyn and Luke were in a state of despair, Max hadn't told anyone what had transpired and Maryse had forbidden anyone from asking. They still couldn't believe there baby girl was lying in front of them after two and a half years of searching.

The Lightwoods didn't really know how to feel. They were scared of Valentine and suspicious of Clary but Max was saved because of the girl that was currently wasting away in front of them and they would never forget that.

Jace just stared at her. He knew that she wasn't his sister, Jocelyn had told him but that only meant he had so much more to lose. If he lost he would lose part of his heart, or maybe all of it. Jace never believed in love but with her he didn't need to believe it because he _felt_ it. Deep down though he was scared of her waking up. He had built up the perfect image of her in his mind but a situation like hers changed people. He just hoped that the thing inside of her that he loved was still there.

Meanwhile Clary was living in her own personal hell.

 _Sebastian stalked towards her.  
"I told you I would get you" and then he began kissing her like a vulture. The scene changed and she was hung up from the ceiling by her arms. Valentine stared at her curiously.  
"Oh daughter dearest you are so powerful" he father ran a finger along her jaw line and spat in her face.  
"Why couldn't you be less of a disappointment?"_

 _The cell wasn't her first home, Valentine really did want a daughter and had given her, her own room. Yet that didn't stop her trying to sneak out. She had been caught mind you and the consequences were severe. She was thrown back on her bed, her white dress splayed across the covers.  
"You bitch! How dare you try and escape from here!" Sebastian screamed, hitting and kicking her like there was no tomorrow. Clary clutched her nose as it broke. The door creaked open.  
"Sebastian!" Valentine yelled, pulling him of Clary.  
"She is your sister you will not beat her senseless!" he commanded. Clary began to cough as Sebastian stormed out of the room. Valentine turned to her  
"You should have fought him back, stop being so weak. I find it truly remarkable that you are your mothers daughter, she would never have allowed this" and then he slapped her across the face before leaving the room and locking the door as Clary sobbed into the bed linen._

 _She remembered when Max turned up, he gave her a hope that had been extinguished between the beatings and abuse. Yet she saw vividly how soul destroyed he looked when she slipped away from him. In life and death. She wouldn't let him cry over her, with that in mind she tried to wake up._


	10. Awake

Max was asleep in the chair when she woke up, it was fairly sudden, one minuet he was dreaming about the cell and the next he was aroused from his dream by the sudden scream of.  
"MAX!" he jumped up, only to find Clary staring at him with half vacant eyes, he stared at her before his mind kicked into gear and he was screaming for someone, anyone. When Magnus ran in he instructed everyone out to work on Clary. Alec kept Jace away and dragged Max out.

It was hours before she was fit to see anyone and the first person she wanted to see was Max. He hurried to her bedside.  
"Clary" he said, rejoiced at seeing her, he went to hug her but Magnus stopped him.  
"Careful kid, she's still healing" and then he left _._ When he did Clary leaned up and pulled Max into a hug anyway. She then proceeded to check him over.  
"Where you hurt?" she asked, as if it didn't matter that she had a blade sticking through her.  
Max shook his head and let a stray tear run down his face.  
"I thought you were dead, like really, really dead and I-i-i-I" Clary sighed and made Max sit down.  
"If that ever happens again Max I need you to run, get yourself safe and when you know it is safe then you get me help okay? When I collapsed I was so scared that someone would hurt you and I need you to know that even if I am just collapsed you will save yourself" Max looked at her funnily and shook his head.  
"But you teleported us to the institute you knew it was safe" Clary looked down  
"I just pictured somewhere safe, I didn't know it would be the institute and I'm sorry I scared you with the whole dying thing" Max laughed  
"Yeah don't do that again" Clary nodded and looked over Max again. He was cleaner now, wearing clothes that actually fit and wasn't looking like he was starved to death, he looked like the Max she knew two years previous but he had dark circles under his eyes, she was going to ask him if he had slept when Jocelyn and Luke stormed in. At first Clary was confused as to why her mother was awake but didn't question it when she was pulled into her mother's embrace.

Her mother looked healthier and vibrant whilst Luke looked less Haggard. Clary smiled at them and Jocelyn tried to hide her tears.  
"Oh my baby" she said, stroking Clary's hair like she was a child again. Luke placed a hand on her leg after sitting down. Clary gulped.  
"Erm Luke… could you please not Urm touch my leg." She said as she saw images of Sebastian touching her. Luke looked at clary cautiously but did as she asked.  
"So erm… how have you been?" Clary asked awkwardly. Max laughed at the three of them.  
"Clary they are still your parents" Clary looked at the little boy and grasped his hand in support.  
So Clary told her mum and Luke how much she missed them and that she was okay, which of course was a lie.

After a while Magnus came back in.  
"Okay, Clary you need to sleep, you need to heal" Magnus said all this whilst looking at the floor, feeling awkward. As everyone got up to leave Clary grabbed Max,  
"Please… can you stay… till I fall asleep" she asked. Everyone was about to protest but Magnus silenced them with a look.  
"Clary" he said delicately. "Max went through an ordeal to and needs time to recuperate. You should let him. I swear no one is going to be that far away, just scream and we will all come running" she nodded but her eyes told a different story. She was terrified. Slowly though she let go of Max, Max let out a sigh and pulled her into a hug.  
"It's okay Clary, I promise that nobody is gonna take me or you away. Just in case I will leave the light on so if they try you can see them" the adults watched in amazement as a ten year old seemed to take away the eighteen year olds worry.  
"Promise?" she asked timidly. Max smiled at her  
"On the angel" at that Clary sunk under the covers. When the others went outside Max turned to Magnus.  
"I'm worried, in _there_ she showed no fear or any emotion, why is she so…. I dunno skittish?" Magnus placed a hand on Max's shoulder.  
"She has been abandoned for two years Max, she showed no emotion with Valentine because she couldn't and now it's just us… deep sown she knows we won't judge her" Max's shoulders sagged but he caught one last glimpse of Clary sleeping before the door shut.  
"I'm going to save her" he declared before going to bed.


	11. Alec, izzy and fighting

Izzy stood hand in hand with Alec, she was nervous to say the least but that was nothing compared to Alec. The last time Alec had seen Clary they had a huge fight which is why he was scared of what Clary would say. Izzy was just scared of what Clary would be like now. She was an innocent little flower when she was taken and now she wasn't. She was scared and traumatized. Izzy didn't know how to deal with that and the fact that Max had become Clary's bodyguard, much to Maryse's annoyment. The women thought that Max should be babied and treated with kid gloves, everyone was just waiting for the argument to be honest.

Izzy went in first to find Max telling Clary a joke. Clary saw them first and went slightly rigid but welcomed them in anyway. They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes before Izzy opened her mouth.

"So I guess you didn't get a very good stylist with him" she blurted out. The silence that ensued was deafening.  
"Izzy! You can't just say that" max shouted but was interrupted by Clary's laughter. Everyone looked at her in bewilderment, Clay for her part clutched her stomach in laughter.  
"Oh…my…god Izzy!" she choked out. Alec put a hand on Clary's forehead  
"Okay you're losing your mind" he stated. Max glared at his elder brother as Clary sobered up.  
"Lost that a long time ago" she said solemnly before smiling at the other girl.  
"And no, the only clothes I really had were the clothes I turned up in, I'm sure you can rectify that though" Izzy squealed, obviously trying to loosen the mood.  
"That is awful, you and I need to get you some clothes" Clary nodded in fake enthusiasm and continued talking to Izzy as the boys sat in a relaxed silence. Eventually Clary turned to Alec.  
"So Alec, how are you"

He coughed, trying to appear like he wasn't uncomftable  
"I'm…. okay?" he seemed ask. Clary looked down and fiddled with her fingers before speaking again.  
"Look Alec… I know it's kinda stupid but I want to apologise… the last thing I ever said to you was that Jace didn't love you and that…. That was wrong so I'm sorry" Izzy stared at Clary, not knowing whether or not she should be angry. It seemed like something trivial to be angry over but Alec shot her a look.  
"Clary it was said in upset I'm over it" nobody replied but Clary hugged Alec.

The rest of the day passed as the foursome laughed like nobody had been tortured and Max smiled at Clary who gripped his hand. The two had ended up falling asleep in the hospital wing that night and nobody had the heart to objectify.

Clary had been home a few weeks before anyone even let her up on her feet, even when the adults said she could Max stayed by her side throughout, Maryse had told him to recover from his ordeal but for the first time in his life Max told his mother to back off and that's where the argument ensued.  
"She is an eighteen year old girl Maxwell Lightwood and you went through the exact same thing as her" Max scoffed and screamed in frustration.  
"Are you thick woman!" he screamed. Everyone took a step back, before Max was taken he would never have stood up for himself. He was only an innocent ten year old.  
"Yes I admit, my ordeal was horrific I was beaten and tortured but that was nothing NOTHING compared to what Clary went through" frustrated tears ran down his face as he banged his fists into the table.  
"You know I ignored her for a few days because I thought she was dead? It took her coming back to me with bruises covering every inch of her body to realise she was in fact alive. You know what she did so I didn't go through the same ordeal as her? Before Valentine tortured me she made him mad enough to drain all his energy so I wouldn't be killed. She put herself in harm's way so I wouldn't break" Maryse went to hug her son but he shoved her back.  
"No mum you know what I may look ten but I feel like fifty, I left an innocent boy but I have stared hell in the face I'm not the son you know. You wannna know why I'm always with Clary? Because she's like my sister. She defended me, got hurt for me and god know what else. She tried to preserve my innocence because she lost hers the moment she handed herself over." Max regained her composure and looked at Luke and Jocelyn with a sad expression.  
"She tried to defend them she really did. Despite their twisted deeds she loved them both, and one things for sure Sebastian loved her a little too much. You wanted to know why I would protect Clary with my life? Because she protected me with her. Sebastian raped her and all because she was defiant" a gasp erupted behind them and everyone spun around to see Clary, a hurt and broken look on her face. Max reached out to grab her but she had already turned and ran off.


	12. Jace, Magnus and truth

**A/N INTENSE CHAPTER**

Ever since Clary had awoken she had avoided Jace like the plague, which is exactly why he followed her after Max's announcement, Magnus following too. They found her sat in the greenhouse crying her soul out. Jace sat next to her as Magnus stood in the shadows.  
"You know there is nothing wrong with you" Jace announced, Clary laughed slightly through her tears.  
"I'll admit that when you forgive yourself for me handing myself over" Jace flinched, disturbed at the fact she knew how he felt. They sat in silence for a few moments. Jace felt like screaming, how can a silence speak so much?.  
"I'm not mad at Max, I just feel like I should tell you that" Jace nodded, trying to refrain from wrapping her up in his arms because she needed to say what was on her mind.  
"I… I was just scared that I would be treated like a whore or something-"  
"You aren't, did you ask him to stop?" she nodded  
"I tried" Jace flinched. How could Sebastian want to hurt her, she was the most precious thing in the world.  
"He hit me a lot, Fat- sorry valentine experimented on me. When Sebastian would have his way he would get angry because… because" she choked back a sob and Jace lost his will and wrapped her up in his arms.  
"I would think of you and he would know…. He would make the next time even worse if I did. He would make me dress up in provocative clothing and say he was doing it because I obviously wanted it." She breathed in heavily  
"About a month before Max came he stopped, I didn't know what was going on at first until Valentine took me to a doctor, he… e thought I was pregnant" at this Magnus came from his hiding place and sat down next to Clary.  
"I wasn't it was all just a scam. He did it so that he could destroy me. I had a hope that maybe I could escape so Valentine made me think that I made something that could give me hope, he told me I had a miscarriage and I lost any hope I had, till Max came. He gave me something to depend upon, I guess I can't be mad at him because he made me realise people care" Magnus sighed.  
"We'll help you biscuit" he promised, Clary just smiled.

When Clary found Max he flung his arms around her waist, crying.  
"I'm so, so sorry, you can kill me if you want just please know I am so sorry!" he sobbed. Clary hugged him back as he dampened her shirt.  
"I'm not mad Max, I wish you hadn't told them but they would've found out eventually" Max pulled back when Clary kissed the top of his head.  
"Clary, can I ask you something?" he asked, clary nodded. Max glanced at Jace and Clary  
"Are you…. Are you ever gonna you know talk to Jace because he's staring at you" Jace blushed and looked away as Clary laughed.  
"Of course he is, now come on. I should really go and face the music" Max grabbed her hand tightly, afraid to let go.  
"I'll be with you every step of the way Clary Fray"  
"Thank you Max"


	13. Training

Days had passed since the news of Clary's torture, her parents had become something of a thorn in her side, Max had been her helping her hand and everyone tried to give her as much comfort as possible, even Maryse. The only person who seemed fine was Jace. The two had become closer and he took whatever interaction he could get with her, he had lost her before and he wouldn't push her more than what she was willing to give. The only thing that surprised Jace was how well she could fight. It seemed that even though Valentine tortured her he wanted to be able to fight. So that's why they were training, against everyone's orders.  
"You know you have a good stance" He complimented. Clary laughed  
"Sure butter me up for something Jace" the boy in question laughed.  
"You know me to well" he replied, before getting distracted by how good she looked. She promptly bit his arm and while he was distracted by the pain she flipped him and held a knife to his throat.  
"I know I'm beautiful in your eyes but aren't you meant to be the one training me?" then she broke out laughing, her laughing attracted Luke who stood in the entrance hall, watching.

Clary helped Jace up only for her to lose her balance and fall backwards, him following suit. They both blushed before Clary realised she technically had tactical advantage, she kneed him in his manly area and flipped him around, then began "choking" him before letting him go and standing up.  
"You are dirty fighter" Jace commented. Clary shrugged  
"Not my idea father said a dirty fighter wins because he's willing" Jace shrunk back.  
"Why do you call him your father, I mean Luke has been a better father to you, not to mention he wouldn't hurt you" Clary looked down.  
"I call him father because I would be punished if I didn't. Just before I traded myself over I had begun to call him dad but now I associate the word with violence and anger. It would be an insult to call him father." Jace gave her a quick smile.  
"You…. Have a point, did you ever blame me though? If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have handed yourself over." Clary took a deep breath. It was obvious he still blamed himself.  
"Jace I would've, he is my father and therefore my responsibility, was I more inclined to hand myself over because of you. Yes. I love you Jace always have and always will but I would've done it if it was Alec, Izzy or Max because you would've done it for me" he smiled her. She looked at her watch and kissed Jace on the cheek.  
"Give me some time to heal Jace, maybe I will open myself up more then" and then she left.

That night when Clary got to her room she found a letter on her bed.

 ** _Dear daughter,_**

 ** _You have had your fun but it is time to come home or there will be consequences._**

 ** _Love father_**

Underneath was a picture of Jace and Max with big red X's. Clary began to shake. She thought she was finally _free_ but he would always have a hold over her. No matter how hard she tried she would always be Valentines daughter.


	14. The grand escape

Clary tried to hide her plan but she knew that people were suspicious of her. It wasn't just Max either, it was everyone who knew her. They had realised how shifty she was being and as much as she tried to hide her heartbreak it was evident that she was not okay, she needed to do it quickly.

The day she left numerous things happened, she wrote everyone a goodbye and thank you not, told her parents she loved them and spent a good portion of the day with Max. The most surprising thing was when she kissed Jace, she had stormed over to him whilst he was training, grabbed him and kissed him. She figured it was a now or never moment considering Valentine would probably kill her. When he pulled away she smiled and sauntered out of the room. She then spent the rest of the day hiding from him, she could have no reason to stay.

Clary was feeling pretty great about being able to leave, that was until Alec caught her.  
"So this was your plan? Get home and go back to Valentine?" she looked at him stunned.  
"I thought you said you never wanted to see him again?" Alec asked confused  
"I… uh…" she knew that if she let Alec talk she would never be able to leave.  
"Look… he needed Intel… he's my master" she cringed slightly. Alec looked at her thoughtfully, he wanted to hate her he really did, she took Jace but he couldn't. She was the most selfless person he knew at the moment.  
"He's blackmailing you?" he guessed. Clary felt a traitorous tear run down her face.

"I'm sorry" she inched closer to her portal, Alec reached out to her.  
"We can protect you" he promised. Clary shook her head wildly.  
"No you can't Alec, you can't because I am the only reason that Max is in danger." Alec tried to dissuade her but before he could she jumped through the portal, Alec being reckless did the same.

The institute was not happy, not only had they lost their only leverage against Valentine and Sebastian, they had lost Alec. Jace was not happy that he had let the love of his life and his parabatai slip through his finger.  
"I'm going to kill that bastard"  
"We are not going to kill Valentine just yet" Izzy said  
"Not him, Alec and then when I'm done with him I'm going to kill Clary. Why do two of the closet people to me have to be so self-sacrificing?" Izzy would laugh if the situation wasn't so serious.  
"We'll find them Jace" she tried to be reassuring but deep down she knew that it was unlikely. She must wished that if they do find them that they will still be alive.


	15. A time for plans

Valentine was angry and as such he turned to his favourite punching bag, Clary. It had been two weeks since Valentine had her and her little friend. The boy had proven to be quite the annoyance, until he saw Clary being beaten. He kicked Clary again as he thought of Alec.

Clary was coughing, her ribs had to be broken by now and she knew that this was just the beginning of it. Valentine grabbed her hair and pulled her up  
"Go have a shower and get changed, your brother will be waiting"

Clary took as long as she dared in the shower, when she was given the clothes that Sebastian had chosen she was pleasantly surprised. They weren't provocative at all, in fact they were just a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. She got changed in to them and walked to Sebastian's room.  
"Oh hello Sister, come in" she followed him to the couch.  
"Would you like to watch a movie?" he asked, she looked at him like he'd grown a third head but nodded anyway. As she watched the movie Sebastian moved in for a kiss, on reaction she pushed him away.  
"No" she said, Sebastian looked at her in surprise.  
"The fact that you think you have a choice in this is cute" Clary scowled.  
"My lips are for Jace only" at this Sebastian's eyes glowed red.  
"You will not speak his name" he threated. Clary had, had enough however  
"You scared you've got competition?"  
"He is not competition however you should be scared sister, we may have Alec locked away nice and safe but if you don't act respectful we may let him be used for target practice."

Clary stopped fighting after that.

It had been a month and Alec was beginning to feel helpless, he kept feeling Jace's emotions too which for once didn't help. He had seen Clary come back battered and bruised, sometimes unconscious and he didn't know what to do. He was a warrior but for once he knew that wouldn't help him, Clary had survived but not because she was a warrior but because she was smart and he needed to do the same. That was why he was planning an escape, he knew that within a few hours of release he could pinpoint where they were, only Clary was refusing to go with him.  
"Alec, I get it, I understand that remaining will only increase my chances of dying but I can't leave…" Alec sighed in frustration. Sure since he was here he hadn't done much to help her, he couldn't really, and Valentine had kept them apart.  
"I'm going to try and get into my old cell… the Steele I used should be in there, you will then get away and save yourself. I'm beyond saving Alec but you still have use" he tried to argue but she just smiled sadly. He tried to convey his emotion through his parabatai link, hopefully when he got through the portal Jace would know what he was feeling and be ready with reinforcements.

The institute worked fast, Jace would give them that. They had somehow activated a tracker that was put on Clary when she arrived, the signal was skewed slightly but with Max's description of where he was held they had tracked Valentine. They were ready to save Alec and Clary but Jace couldn't get rid of the uneasy feeling that had settled upon him, almost as if his body was telling him that someone would not come out of this alive.


	16. The Anti-Climax

Alec knew something was wrong when he was summoned to see Valentine, he was not wrong. When he reached Valentine's chambers he found Clary lying on the floor, he head bent at a weird angle and blood was dribbling down her face.  
"This… is what happens when you steal and lie to me" Alec just stared. He knew he should feel anger but all he felt was shock, how could Valentine do this to his own daughter?

"This will happen to you if you don't tell me how you told the Clave where we are" Alec looked up sharply, had Clary got a message to them?.

"What are you on about?"  
"Do you take me for a fool boy?" Alec snorted  
"That depends to be honest" Valentine slapped him. Alec did nothing  
"You are brave to speak to me like this, stupid but brave." Then before Alec had time to react he was on his back, Valentine stood over him. He tried to fight back but he was malnouihed and so very tired.  
"You will tell me how they got here" Valentine demanded. Alec just laughed.  
"He doesn't know" a voice piped up. Valentine looked over to his daughter, she had slowly regained coincides and was stood unsteadily on her two feet.  
"You are becoming bothersome daughter" Valentine told her.  
"Maybe I should just do away with you" Alec looked to Clary, panicked. Clary just spat blood from her mouth.  
"Do it, do it and you'll find out just why Alec and Jace are called ruthless. Do it and you will lose any chance with my mother, the women you seem to be obsessed with? Do it Valentine"  
"I told you to call me father" he growled.  
"You are no father of mine, you are just a man that has abused me and let his son rape me, or didn't you know that Valentine Junior was making me his in all sense of the word?" Valentine turned red with rage.

Alec knew he had to do something but he was paralysed, he could hear his rescuers getting closer and closer, he just hoped that they would be there in time. Valentine grabbed a weapon and charged at his daughter, she just stepped aside.  
"You insolent bitch" he screeched. Alec tried to move again but his limbs just felt heavy  
"Clary, Run" he screamed. He was too late, the sword pierced Clary's heart. She fell to the ground as Valentine staggered back, it was the end of the line for him to. Clary had stabbed him with a knife when he had stabbed her. As Valentine fell to the ground Alec felt his limbs beginning to move. He ran towards Clary, Ripping of his shirt he tried to stem the blood flow, the girl just smiled at him  
"Let… go" she told him. Alec felt himself crying  
"No… hang on Clary… please you can't die."  
"Just… look….after…them"  
"I will, I promise but please… hang on" she smiled at him more, her face finally looked relaxed. As she closed her eyes Alec sobbed. He wasn't aware of Clave soldiers running in, nor was he aware of healers trying to revive Clary. In fact he wasn't aware of anything until Jace's scream ripped through the air. He looked to his best friend as a fresh set of tears christened his face, he could offer no words of comfort nor do anything for him because Clary was dead and he knew Jace was dying right along with her.


	17. Epilouge

The raid was a success, Valentine had been executed and his body burned. Sebastian had been executed and his body was burned to. Valentines men were tried and found guilty but the only downside was Clary was not waking up.

Jace had never left her side, Izzy had begun to make and buy clothing for her when she woke up, her parents were mourning and Max was constantly near her. The only one who had yet to see Clary was Alec. He felt like he'd let her down and he needed to apologise which is why he requested a few moments with her.  
"Clary… I don't know if you'd even hear this but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being annoyed when Jace first brought you home. I'm sorry I couldn't defend you and I'm sorry that you went through what you did. I was trained to be a warrior but you proved that training won't make you one… a warrior is what's in your heart and you are a warrior." Alec said nothing, he stood up and left.

Two months, that's how long it took for any change to happen in Clary, she woke up and screamed. It wasn't the greatest reaction but at least it was something.

It took a further three months for the doctors to declare her fit and a further two weeks before anyone let her lift a finger.

It took a year before Clary said anything about her ordeal and when she did Alec, Izzy, Jace and Max were so proud of her. She was stood in front of everyone she cared about when she said it.  
"I want to thank you all, my ordeal was horrific but it gave me something beautiful. It united my Mum and Luke in holy matrimony, congrats by the way. It took you long enough"

Everyone laughed.  
"It gave me Izzy, a sister that I never knew I needed."  
Izzy smiled at Clary warmly.  
"It gave me Alec and Magnus, my protectors and by the way guys we all know you're into each other" Alec blushed and Magnus laughed  
"You damn right Fray" he then proceeded to kiss Alec as everyone grinned, it was about damn time.

"It gave me Jace, the love of my life" she kissed him lightly before turning to Max  
"Max… it gave me you, I don't really know what to say to you. You have helped me more than you know, you said you were going to save me and you've done a damn fine job. When I first found you in Valentine's grasp I wanted to get you out of there straight away but you were so, so brave Max. You held your own and brought me some peace. You saved my life Max Lightwood and I will be forever grateful."

Max ran into Clary's arms, tears running down their faces. Nobody really knew the true extent of max and Clary's torture but they knew that the two had created bond that could not be undone. They had helped each other in the bleakest of situations and had come out if stronger than they were going in. Still holding Max, Clary turned to the crowd  
"I want to thank you all…. You have all found me."

As Clary looked around she could see nothing but good for the future, she had her family back and she knew that she would never lose them. Not again


	18. Dear readers

Dear readers.

This is to address something that quite a few people have noticed, whether you have only read this story or others you may have noticed that a lot of my stories carry dark themes such as

· Suicide

· Mental illness

· Rape

· Abuse (of any kind)

· Self-harm

So I feel the need to stress this and I need your help. If you have read any of my stories and they have triggers, even if the trigger seems really remote could you please leave a review or private message, as much as the stories I write are for the reader's enjoyment sometimes they can be very triggering. Thank you.

That is not the reason I have written this note. I am here today to tell everyone that they are worth it, even if you don't believe it, I do. You are all stronger than what ails you and what ails you can be defeated, I believe that everyone has an inner battle inside them but you can survive. If you are experiencing anything, whether it be mental illness or you have been through a traumatic experience, hell even if you just feel sad or upset it is okay to get help. It is okay. I understand this is scary and it could mean that you will have to experience changes that you are not ready for but it will all be worth it. You can get there.

I want to wish everyone reading this all the happiness in the world, you deserve it. Remember you all have beautiful souls and its okay to feel sad and alone or whatever you are feeling. I want you to know that even if you feel like no one believes in you, I do.

Thank you all, I hope you all find happiness and joy in your lives.

\- Sharingstories2


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